One Liners

ZA-za-Zing!

Fred Allen says: I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Fred Allen says: What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

Bob Hope says: Eisenhower admitted the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy says the communists are taking over. You don't know what ...

Bob Hope says: My brother was a musician. His favorite was small combinations. He used to hum while he broke them open.

Bob Hope says: It's so crowded in Los Angeles these days ... if you get a sunburn you have to go to Glendale to peel.

Bob Hope says: But the crowds were very friendly ... honestly ... it was the pleasantest mob I ever lost a tooth in.

Fred Allen says: The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.

Fred Allen says: The president of the new agency had been a famous quarterback in college football an old wives tale told around the water ...